Having boys has opened my eyes to a special kind of flattery: the kind that only a Mommy can get from her little boy. In his eyes you’re a princess…beautiful, nice smelling, kind, and infallible. He wants to snuggle, hold your hand, and marry you because you’re the most wonderful woman in his world. Your heart absolutely melts when he looks into your eyes and tells you how beautiful you are. And you are. I’ve no doubt about that.
But then, he gets bigger. Older. Wiser. Maybe a little cynical. Suddenly you’re being picked apart like last week’s garbage. Your breath stinks (somehow that coffee breath previously went unnoticed), you’re mean and unfair, your butt is big, and you don’t know what you’re talking about.
My big nose and big teeth were recently subjects of scrutiny and raillery. The boys were being very funny, cracking each other up as I stood there, a witness to my fall from familial eminence. And this was on the heels of having my youngest draw a picture of me on the back of a restaurant menu…as a green witch.
Despite the slight bruising to my ego, I do find a sense of relief when my kids hit this point. There’s a lot of pressure involved in being the most awesome person in the world. When your children finally realize you are, in fact, a flawed human being and not the smartest person in the world, you’re off the hook. I’m totally comfortable admitting to my mistakes and physical shortcomings because I have nothing to prove except that this ugly witch loves them unconditionally.