Monthly Archives: November 2015

Have Kids, Will…Eavesdrop

Don’t you just love listening to your kids talk to one another when they don’t know you’re listening?  Or when they have a friend in the car and they suddenly start whispering and giggling together?  Considering I have all boys all the time, I regularly hear some really great (and equally appalling) potty humor.  All my best jokes have come from first and seventh graders.  It’s all ridiculous stuff that is innocent enough, whispered through the hot breath of little boys who don’t always brush their teeth.

Just last week I was carting a couple of elementary schoolers to a party.  They were playing a Nintendo game during the drive.  One friend asked to have a character created for him and, glancing up at me in the rear view mirror, whispered, “Name him Penis.”  The belly laughs that that comment induced were adorable, even if the subject was completely stupid.

The chalkboard in my mud room recently announced, “Welcome to Butt-town!”  Yes, indeed.  I live in Butt-town.  Every gross, stinky body function or body part is up for grabs in regular conversations and jokes alike.  Car rides are filled with farts, burps, and armpit noises.  Outside, it’s seeing who can spit or pee the farthest.  Words like “balls” and “nuts” garner snickers no matter what we’re actually talking about.

On the other hand, the sweetness that I get to witness when the boys are in their beds, with lights out as they settle in for the night, is sometimes miraculous.  Ages ago, when my oldest two were maybe 4 and 6, I heard Eli say, “I love you, Max.”  Just like that.  It was so out of the blue and surprising that Max replied, “Wow, Eli.  That makes me want to cry.”  I remember thinking, Same here! 

The younger two, who also share a room, were recently having a quiet argument as they were lying in their beds.  When I walked into their room, ready to tell them to be quiet and go to sleep, I realized they were actually arguing about how many moons Jupiter has.  Scientific discussions?  Declarations of love?  Why doesn’t THIS happen during the day?  I just better keep my ears open and savor all that good stuff.

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